- Does my profile picture have me posing for all I'm worth under trick, dim lighting to give an the appearance of natural and effortless beauty? Of course.
- Have I ever untagged myself from photos posted by others where it was not my above rehearsed look but natural and very far-from-beautiful self that had been captured? Yes.
- Are my photo albums shameless attempts at convincing my Facebook friends that my life is a non-stop party full of alcohol and an endless stream of friends and clothes? Oh yes.
- Do I leave cryptic status messages in order to come across as cerebral and uncaring of what the world thinks of me, while really being quite silly and very concerned about trying to make an impression? Hell yeah!
- Have I refused to go to the gym because I had "so much work I could die" and spent that time on on Facebook taking endless movie quizzes (including the endless movie quiz) instead? All the time.
Like the quiz, the list of offenses is endless. While it took me some time to get onto the FB bandwagon, once on it, I was milking it for all it was worth. And it really is a great social networking tool (also the right place to learn how to play poker), perfect for keeping in touch and sharing your life's goings on with your friends.
Notice how I use the term "friends".
Friends. As in people you know and like and trust. People who you don't mind seeing your pictures and knowing your moods. People you want to stay in touch with even after you've moved cities and for years to come.
Not acquaintances, not random office colleague you haven't met in 10 years, definitely not the stranger you rode on the lift with once who's name or face you couldn't remember if your life depended on it.
Then why the endless friend requests from unknown people whose table you sat across from at a dinner for a 500?
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I fancy myself to be some kind of super woman who, to paraphrase Kung Fu Panda, blinds people with her sheer awesomeness!! I'm just an ordinary girl who happens to be on Facebook, and for some people that's all the qualification you need to be their friend.
Take a friend request I got some time ago from a guy called X. It said, "Hi! Remember me? We were both on Subhash's team for three days that time in Mumbai."
The truth is that I was last in Mumbai 6 years ago, I barely remember Subhash, I have no idea what team he's talking about and as far as X is concerned, neither his picture nor his reminder message ring any bells.
Then there is the guy who (I think) was at a potluck dinner I attended the other evening. He may have passed me a fork, although I wouldn't bet my life on it. But I can bet my life on the fact that through the course of the evening, not one word was exchanged between us. In fact, I don't think we were ever even within a 15 foot distance of each other. But sure enough, by the time I got home from the dinner, there was waiting in my inbox a friend request from the fork passer. And unlike X, he did not even bother with a "remember me" message. I guess he was running out of time since he had to hurry and add each and every one of the guests at that dinner.
There's also a particularly shameless lot of requesters who simply add you if the two of you have a common friend. That's just the height of laziness if you ask me. I mean, at least make the effort of stepping out and meeting people. Don't go poaching on other people's friends!
I get it. Facebook is not just a social utility site (or whatever they claim to be). It's a contest to see who has the maximum friends, so we may finally know who the most popular person in the world is. (The suspense has been killing me!)
Of course, by adding unknown people to your list the only suspense you're ending is of who the saddest person in the world is.
